Underwear as Outerwear

Why does underwear
have to be under?
Perhaps it's the skid marks
that make others shudder?

Is it 'cause I rarely,
if ever, wash those?
Too bad 'cause I'd like
to show off the caped heroes.

I think that my undies
could make a fine hat.
Or even a sweater
for my pet cat.

But folks act weird
when I wear undies outside.
I don't understand it.
I got nothin' to hide.

People got odd rules
about underpants.
"Don't use 'em for that!",
"Those aren't gloves for your hands!"
Well, my undies are mine
and I'll do what I please.
Hey, don't cringe when I use 'em
to wipe a sneeze.

-B.C. Byron

Remember all the creative ways you used things as a kid? If only we could be as free and unboxed in our thinking as adults. Why DOES underwear have to be under? Why CAN’T I use a frying pan as a sled? What clever solutions to everyday problems are we missing out on simply because we don’t want to get funny looks? If you need a fresh idea, ask a kid.