Cyborg

Got tired of lugging phones around.
I haven't got the pocket space.
A cellphone's now inside my head.
For calls,
I poke my face.

My hand has got a screen implant,
I give my thumb a twist,
Then scroll my palm for hours,
Tapping buttons on my wrist.

My brain connects to wi-fi.
I can text you with a thought.
I search the web on eyelids.
I'm practically a robot.

When analog biology
Meets digital technology,
It ought to be a recipe
for cyber awesome-ology.
But software updates hourly,
A constant drain of battery,
The overflow of memory,
When hackers try to download me,
It's all a cause of misery.

I'd like to pull these gadgets out,
But wires fill my skin throughout.
I can't go back from where I'm at
'Cause no one has an app for that.

-B.C. Byron

Laugh if you will, but this type of technology is surely going to become a reality in the next decade. There are engineers working on cyborg technology right now. At the very least, some company is going to offer installing mobile phone chips into the body and there will be some folks willing, and loopy enough, to try it out. I’m not one of those folks.

I get frustrated every time my phone starts a software update that I didn’t ask for, and delayed until it was forced through by the phone maker, right when I want to make a call or check email. Then I’m further frustrated after the software updates complete, finding that all the buttons in my apps have moved around and things generally don’t work the way they did before. I can see a future me struggling to find the call “button” on the screen projecting from my eyes or unable to use the calculator in my brain because the app name has change from “calculator” to “superCalc 2.0” because of one of those obnoxious updates happening in my head. A message pops up in my field vision, obscuring my ability to see the real world in front of me, explaining how much I’m going to enjoy these important new updates to my software. After an hour of re-learning my slightly reconfigured brain interface, I’m finally able to call my mother and calculate the interest on my loan. Then a hacker breaks in and starts downloading my memories. My left ear rings. After frantically poking my nose, cheek, and chin, I finally locate the newly moved button to pick up a call. It’s the memory bank asking if I’ve recently sent my memories of my trip to Mexico to somoene in the Bahamas. I explain that I’ve been hacked and would like those memories refunded. No problem, they say. The bank representative just needs my name and encryption key, which I can no longer provide, because those memories were also stolen by the hacker. Guess it’s goodbye fond memories. During all this, there are flashing advertisements in my eyes telling me to try a new brain malware blocker for only $19.99 per month next to a pop up informing me that other software updates are available for my arms, toes, and right eye… Do you see why I don’t think embedding tech in our bodies is a good idea?

When that cyborg tech does become a reality, I’m hoping this poetic warning is still bouncing around in the 100% natural, purely biological, analog gray matter that your creator gave you. The human brain is an astounding piece of machinery that works nothing like a digital computer. It can do so many things that a computer can’t, and maybe never will. I can’t help but imagine that installing a pile of silicon chips and tiny wires would just hinder your brain, or maybe just change it in ways that are both unexpected and undesirable. Stay human, kids. Cell phones are better kept in pockets, not inside skulls.