I bought myself a pair of manly boots
for wearing at my very manly work.
When feet are deep in dangerous pursuits,
the metal covered toes can be a perk.
They're nail and car and knife
and bullet proof,
a manly preparation for the worst.
They're heavy and the cost was
through the roof,
but awesomeness and safety come in first.
Tornadoes and explosions may combine,
and my body may be vaporized to dust,
But my feet will be just fine
in this armored shoe design -
A shell of sturdy leather I can trust.
These boots are manufacture guaranteed,
for kicking through a wall or zombie mob.
The kind of boots that every guy will need,
a guy like me who has a manly desk job.
-B.C. Byron
The title of the poem is manly boots, but my oldest daughter can relate to this one. She has her own pair of tough, womanly boots that she wears to school most days. Like me, she spends a large portion of her day sitting at a desk in front of a computer. No zombies attack her while she’s doing book reports or reading about grammar, but it’s good to know that she’s ready with her super kicks should such a dire situation arise.
As you probably know by now, I’m an electrical engineer. Don’t confuse that with an electrician, the folks that wire buildings and work with dangerous tools at construction sites (electricians may actually need a pair of nuclear-blast-worthy boots to keep their tootsies intact). No, I mostly sit still making spreadsheets, doing math, and having phone meetings where we discuss how many bytes of data we can fit into a computer chip. One in a while, I might visit the factory (from behind glass) or measure something with an oscilloscope in a lab. The lab I go to does have heavy equipment, but it stays on a desk for me to carefully push buttons and look at wavy lines on the screen. No moving parts. The most dangerous equipment I get to use is a soldering iron. It’s hot enough to burn a hole in my steel toed monster boots, but it’s highly unlikely that the iron could ever fall on my shoes. It’s not the kind of wotk that requires shoes with soles as thick as my thigh. Still, it’s good to know that I could kick through a wall or walk on broken glass if it were necessary. It’s also good to know that if I dropped a hazardous can of soda at my desk, my toes wouldn’t suffer mild bruising and the waterproofed, quarter inch thick leather would keep my socks from becoming uncomfortably wet. But I know the real benefit of my manly boots is confidence. I can face my day of documenting, reading, and calculating with extra self assurance. Funny how a totally unnecessary piece of clothing can do that. Perhaps you have your own favorite shirt, hat, shoes or other piece of clothing that has you brimming with bravado and ready for anything?
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