Things to Twist Your Tongue

If your enemy is an anemone,
there's a simple cinnamon remedy.
Cinnamon wipes anenome's memories
so they can't remember your identity. 
---
Bobby bathes in butter
because butter builds bigger, better bubbles. 
---
I can can a toucan if you can find a toucan.
But why cram a toucan in a can
if you can't eat a can of toucan? 
---
Hanna Hurley had a ham hat
hoisted high upon her hairy head.
Her ham hat was so heavy
that she had to have it halved. 
---
If you flush a turtle down the toilet portal,
where does turtle travel to?
It surfs the slippery water shuttle to turtle city
where tossed out turtles talk in tiny towers
and drink tasty turnip tea. 
---
A pair of pliers.
---

-B.C. Byron
Wash the pliers after you do tongue twisters

It’s fun to see what sound combinations trip up different people’s tongues. Perhaps you’re one of those people that has no trouble at all with the crazy nonsense above. Maybe you can easily carry on a conversation with your tongue squashed and twisted by a pair of pliers. Or maybe you’re like the ventriloquist that came to an assembly at my grade school who could sing songs while drinking a glass of water. I doubt that guy would be tongue-tied by cinnamon anemones.

20 years ago, I lived in South Korea and learned their language for 2 years. It is one of the hardest and most rewarding things I’ve ever done. That’s how I learned what a tongue twister is really like. I remember my tongue being exhausted from speaking Korean all day. I think I may have had tongue cramps a few times. My American mouth just seemed to not have the muscles for it, at first. It was like overdoing the weight lifting at the tongue gym and then going back for more the next day. I wonder if Korean folk’s tongues get as tired and twisted when first learning English.

Hey, here’s a real challenge for you. Twist your tongue to match my drawing with an actual pair if pliers while reciting the tongue twisters above. Then see whose tongue tongue takes the longest time to go back to its normal shape. Just make sure you wash the pliers afterward. There’s nothing worse than trying to fix your bike with spitty pliers. See? You can always count on your favorite poet, B.C. Byron, for a good way to spend your free time.

Kaleidoscope

I got a new kaleidoscope,
A twisty, turny fun-oscope,
A jewels and gems inside-oscope,
A gazing's never done-oscope,
A flashy fascination-scope,
A countless combination-scope.

They glued it to my eye-oscope,
A not-so-funny prank-oscope,
And though I pull and pry-oscope,
No matter how I yank-oscope,
I don't have any luck-oscope.
It stays forever stuck-oscope.

A warning for the punk-oscope
Who pasted my kaleidoscope.
That rotten little skunk-oscope
Had better run and hide-oscope.

-B.C. Byron
Some joker put super glue on my kaleidoscope!

My daughter loves her kaleidoscope. She makes sure everyone in the house has a turn to look through it every time she pulls it out. It’s a treasured object at our house. I love to see my kids experience simple joys like this. I have to admit, I still find this trick of mirrors and light to be mesmerizing. No matter how many times you turn it, a kaleidoscope always has a new view to offer. I have prisms and other toys in my science kit that do tricks with light, but none quite as cool as a kaleidoscope.

Many of my poems are inspired by the things that fascinate my daughters, so I wrote into my poem idea list the word “kaleidoscope” the day she received hers. I tried many times to write this poem and just couldn’t find a good angle to start it. I never like to write poems that just describe things, so what strange ways could I write about a kaleidoscope? If I keep a poem idea long enough, inspiration always comes along to help me finish it. Watching our pet bunny get his head stuck in a toilet paper tube somehow combined with kaleidoscope in my brain one day and produced this poem. Funny how brains work sometimes to connect things that don’t really go together like bunnies, toilet paper tubes, glue and kaleidoscopes, but I’ve learned to embrace those connections when they strike. It’s like an idea soup. If you boil it long enough and add enough seasoning, pretty much anything can combine to make a good soup.