My Big Fat Apology

It seems that I offended you.
I think these words are overdue.
I'm sorry if your pride was broke.
I'm sorry you can't take a joke.
I'm sorry you're so fun to tease.
I'm sorry you're so hard to please. 
So here's a big apology.
I'm groveling, as you can see.
A grudge will only hurt your tummy,
Suck it up and just forgive me.

My actions, they were unbecoming
And I'm sorry
That you had it coming.
Accept my stinking apology
And boil it in your tea.
See, I used nice words and everything.
Now wasn't that big of me?

-B.C. Byron
Fine! I apologize, I guess.
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While writing this poem, I realized something important about apologizing. It takes practice to do it right. Not everyone can write such a heartfelt and sincere apology as the one I shared above, especially when the person you’re apologizing to really did deserve it. And for me to spend the time to make it into a poem… well, I hope they appreciate the extraordinary, humble effort that I put into it. I won’t mention what this poem apology was for. Just know that I was the bigger person for writing it. And you know what? I really did feel better after letting that rotten stinker of a stubborn know-it-all know just how sorry I was.

Always try to be right like me and be the first to apologize. You can use this poem as your template if you’re wondering how to make it meaningful. Well, maybe you could soften it up a bit. And maybe remove the part about boiling tea, but you get the picture. Also, don’t be a lout like the person I wrote this poem to and actually accept the apology. Being a forgiving person is important too.

Still Waiting

I've heard with time all wounds can heal,
But I'm not sure
If that's for real.
It's been a while since the shark attack,
But my head just won't grow back.

-B.C. Byron
Strangely, my head has not grown back after many months of waiting and not picking at it
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Sometimes a short poem can really stick with you. This one came to me late in the night when I had nearly fallen asleep, like many of my stranger poems do. I was given a poetry challenge from a website to write about healing. Of course, I never go the traditional route when given a poem challenge. I thought all day about how I could twist the theme of healing in an unexpected way and nothing came to me. Sometime in the evening, I was scannimg Netflix and a show about dangerous animals stood out to me. I only watched the trailer for the show, but it was pretty disturbing. I went to bed thinking about animal attacks and bummed out that the time to complete the poem was nearly up and I had nothing.

Then that wonderful time came when the body is heavy and the mind is half asleep. Thoughts mix up in weird ways and connections that wouldn’t normally happen in the brain do happen. I keep my phone or a notebook near my bed every night hoping for poem inspiration during this brain-malfunctioning, half-awake time. This poem really seemed epic while I was in that dreamy state writing it down. When I woke up in the morning, I checked my notes with a vague memory of having written something cool. Boy, was I disappointed to see a whopping 5 line poem about a missing head. So, here you go. It is pretty catchy, though. I can’t seem to get it out of my head (pun intended).