Zog Learns a Lesson

(This poem must be read in your best caveman voice)

Zog not happy,
Heart make sad.
Hit friend with club,
Make head go bad.
Now friend not move or talk to Zog.
Just lay there stiff on pile of log. 

Try wake with stick.
Try wake with rock.
Make friend shake, shake
And head knock, knock,
But friend still no can talk. 

Zog learn lesson,
Head smash bad.
Swing club with eyes shut,
That make sad.

-B.C. Byron
Zog’s friend no longer moves
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This poem shows us that even cavemen can share deep feelings through poetry. And isn’t it beautiful? Zog shared this important lesson with his fellow cave people and possibly saved many of our ancestors from careless club-swinging accidents. This may be one of the first poems penned by a human (well, not penned. Scratched on a rock maybe?). Imagine if Zog had simply told others about his experience with the usual grunts and gestures. Would it have had the same impact? The same emotion? Would it have inspired real change or would cave people have just kept swinging weapons with eyes closed? Poetry can be powerful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Zog. Keep your eyes open, and don’t just TELL the world about your experiences. Say it with rhythm and rhyme.

Feel free to grunt and hit your chest while reading this poem. It’s more enjoyable when read with the accent of a surly caveman. In fact, go ahead and talk in one-syllable words and grunt all day. Really get into character before reading this poem. Let’s make today National Talk-like-a-caveman Day. Make it caveman week. People at school and work will love it even more than talk-like-a-pirate day.

Just Digging

Digging,
Digging,
Digging a hole.
If you ask her the reason,
She doesn't know.
Just digging,
Digging,
Digging for the joy.
A shovel is better than toys. 

Deeper,
Deeper,
'Til there's nothing but rocks.
Dirt in her hair,
Dirt in her socks.
Sun up to sun down
She just keeps on digging.
Mom calls for dinner,
But digging won't stop. 

She finished her digging
Near Earth's molten core,
And thought to herself, "I'll dig no more".
Kept from the lava by only a fraction,
She drops her dull shovel
With great satisfaction.
Such a marvelous pit
No one ever had dug.
"Now it's time to go eat,"
She said with a shrug. 

Jumping,
Climbing,
Shouting for help.
From down in the hole,
No one hears the sad yelp.
She started her project without any prep,
And it seems she forgot
to plan for some steps.

-B.C. Byron
She dug down near the Earth’s core and forgot to make steps
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This poem, like many of my poems, is from my own childhood memories and the over-the-top ideas we had as kids. I remember digging holes for hours in the large garden behind my home growing up. There was something satisfying about having a single goal and working so hard at it. The goal was simply to make the deepest hole possible. Sometimes my sisters or cousins would help and we would make plans for the giant underground caverns that would eventually come of our efforts. We even dragged a picnic table over with plans to put it inside our fort, once the hole was wide enough and deep enough. Of course, we grossly underestimated the amount of time this would all take. 4 hours in and the top of the hole was perhaps as high as my ten year-old chest. We never thought to rent an earth-mover or other industrial equipment, which would have made our underground fort actually possible. I wonder if they would have let a bunch of kids rent a backhoe with piles of change.

We also never really thought about the implications if we actually did manage to create a hole large enough to fit all of us and the picnic table. What would we actually do in there? How long would our parents wait before calling a search party and would the search dogs be able to smell us down inside the giant pit? It’s good to have big ideas and work hard at achieving them. Just think a few steps ahead about where it all leads. Be ready for what happens once you’ve reached that dream and you’re looking back up the miles of dirt wall surrounding you. Don’t take things too far, and always bring a rope in case you need to get back up.