Eyebrow Shopping

On the way back from the dentist,
we’ll be stopping by the eyebrow store.
My doggy licked the old ones off,
I’ve got to buy some more.
It will have to be a used set,
since I've only got a buck.
I would like to make my own brows,
but the grass just won't stay stuck. 

At the shop, I try some thin brows
and some bushy piles of fluff.
I want the stately unibrow,
but my money’s not enough.
I find a pair of long brows
that can cross below the nose.
They form an eyebrow mustache.
Yeah,
I might look good in those.
I passed on braided French brows
and the permanent surprise ones.
I didn’t try the triple stack
or feather, silk, and fur ones.
I ended up not buying brows
because,
to tell the truth,
I don't know why I need them
and I like my forehead smooth.

-B.C. Byron

Whenever my kids complain too loudly about a hurt hand or foot or nose or other body part, I take them to the car and tell them we’re going body part shopping. Strangely, they never seem to want to go. If you’re hand is hurting, why not replace it? Removing the old limb will hurt for a bit, but then you’ve got a fresh one with no more annoying aches and pains. Easy, peasy. People do it all the time with wigs; just shave off the old hair and buy someone else’s used hair to put on your head. I guess my kids aren’t too keen on shopping at a place that has shelves of hands and feet. Really this is just my sarcastic dad way of saying, “suck it up and tough it out”.

I do wonder if we’ll ever be able to buy new body parts from a store. I was watching a documentary the other day about scientists that can grow human organs in laboratories. They grew a human ear on the back of a rat using gene splicing and other techniques. They also were able to grow part of a liver completely from scratch by using special bio-material as a sort of skeleton for the organ cells to grow on. Pretty creepy and pretty cool at the same time. It would be quite a story-topper at parties if you could tell your friends that one of your ears came from the back of a rat. I imagine it would be pricey at first, but if lab grown ears ever become trendy the price will go down quickly. I’m sure there will be off-brand versions that are slightly lower quality but still look stylish, and that’s really what matters.

Thanks for reading my strange poetry and sharing with your friends. I’m off to my appointment at the brow salon. I’m going to have my eyebrows braided and dyed blue. Maybe I’ll stop by the genetic engineering lab on the way home.