Unicorns Can’t Cook

Everybody knows
That a unicorn can't cook,
'Cause fingers are required
To hold a recipe book.
Everybody knows
That you don't put hay in cake,
And a pile of grass with oats
Does not a cookie make.
You don't need bits of carrot
In everything you bake,
But unicorn's don't know that,
They're a pet for goodness sake.
Everybody says
That a unicorn's no chef.
In cooking school
An animal
Would surely get an F.
But perhaps you didn't know
That if you practice every day,
A skill can come to anyone,
No matter what they say.
A dedicated unicorn
Worked hard and didn't stray,
Though she fumbled with her hooves
And her horn got in the way.
She learned to crack an egg
By bouncing it off her hips.
She learned to hold a spatula
Between her horsey lips.
She learned to knead a dough
By squishing it on her bottom,
To use flour instead of hay
And spices when she's got 'em.
She learned to be the best
And the flavor really shows it.
Now that unicorn can cook
And everybody knows it.
Oh, everybody tells me
That a unicorn can't cook,
Unless her name is Shimmer
With a famous cooking book.

-B.C. Byron
Kneading dough and using a spatula takes special skill for a unicorn. No hands needed.

This poem comes from the suggestions of a kindergarten class. I’ve been reading my poems and sharing my drawings with the kids at our local gradeschool – kindergarten, first grade, and fourth grade so far. What great audiences these kids were! At the end of each reading, I let the kids offer ideas for my next poem and then I send an email to their teacher when it’s done (usually about 1 week later). A few classes actually invited me back to read the new poems too. I’ll post my other gradeschool-inspired creations in the coming weeks.

I’ve got to hand it to the unicorn in this poem (pun intended), she really went the extra mile to learn a new talent in her own way. It really shows that, while we can’t do literally anything we put our minds to, we can accomplish things that are most important to us with some creativity and dedication. I’ve known so many people like this, doing cool things in a completely new way to get around personal limitations. I’ve known one-handed piano players and drummers, runners with prosthetic legs, a wrestler with a crippled hand, and many others that do things in their own way and defy expectations. If something is important to you and it’s good for you, you’ll find a way to participate in a meaningful capacity, even if that’s just by coaching others that have the abilities.

Published by B.C. Byron

I’m a children’s author, poet, father of 3 girls, and electrical engineer. My first book, A Cat Named Lump, is available on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, and Google Books. I post new poems and illustrations every week.

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