I gotta' have a pick-me-up.
By afternoon my withered brain is sagging.
A sugar buzz to fix head fuzz
And bring me back to where I was.
I can't survive without my daily quota.
The only reason I'm alive is soda.
With sugar I'm a hyper, hoppy rabbit,
So Mother doesn't like my soda habit.
The dentist also thinks I have a problem.
She says my rotten teeth are like a goblin.
But I think they just wanna' drink my pop.
Those fizzy drinks,
I'm never gonna' stop.
You may not be aware, but soda actually has many hidden health benefits. Those health benefits are hidden deeply under smothering piles of sugar, caffeine, acid, and unnatural dyes. Here are just a few:
- Softens tough tooth enamel to prevent sore jaws when chewing. It’s like adding a cushion to your bite.
- Heightens mood swings. Sugar peak to sugar crash, soda helps you enjoy the emotional extremes of each day.
- Adds calories without making you feel full. This is important for people who are overskinny and have a hard time eating a full second dinner every day.
- Stops those obnoxious midday shakes. For some reason, my hands shake when I don’t have enough soda.
- Keeps you hydrated better than water. Ever tried drinking a 64oz water from McDonald’s? It’s not easy. But drinking a 64oz soda and then getting a refill on the way out, no problem. Much easier to get your 8 glasses per day with soda.
In case you’re wondering, my favorite soda is Fentiman’s Curiosity Cola. I get one for Christmas every year. I also like to try a new soda every time I travel internationally. This can be a hit-and-miss experience. Bird nest soda in Singapore and grass jelly soda in Shanghai, won’t try those a second time. Plum flavored soda in Korea, yes please.
Now on a serious note. I really, really, really like soda, but this poem is my reminder to keep the fizzy drinks within reason. I have seen soda hook some people to the point that they drink over 1 gallon per day. That kid with the bendy straws in his arm veins above could be me if I didn’t set some limits. All good things in moderation. And drinking soda through your nose really hurts. Not sure about the straw in the ear. I haven’t tried that yet. Hmmm…